You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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