I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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