Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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