I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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