the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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