You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
