My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
