Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
