Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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