I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
