I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
