i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I understand Curling. That high.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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