There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize