I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
