Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
