He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
