Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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