Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
