the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I will be naked everywhere
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
