This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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