Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
