i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
