Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is wine microwaveable?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
