dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
