Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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