I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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