i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
