i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
