im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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