there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
