And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My balls are so social today.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
