I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
