Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
