I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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