Having a random hookup so left but love u
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just cut my nipple shaving
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
