Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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