i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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