woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
