highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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