I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
