I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us