He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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