My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
