And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
