the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
