I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
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So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
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I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We have so much sex to catch up on
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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