she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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