"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm just crazy horny about you
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
