It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
