Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
