Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
