I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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