id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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