So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
