I want to have your abortion
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize