If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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