During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Still dying that you shit outside
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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