does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
