The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
