but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
