apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize