Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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