Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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