if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
