i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
